Being Okay.

(Note: I always spell it "ok"...but my future husband says "okay," so I thought I would try it out for once.)

I have never been someone who can handle uncertainty...it's my biggest fear, but that's a different post altogether. In fact, I tend to fret for a very very long time when I'm not sure what is going to happen in a situation or what is expected of me. If something uncertain is going on during a particular day, I wake up with a sense of dread that plagues me until I realize that everything will, in fact, be more than alright. God's working me through that.

"But mightier than the violent raging of the seas, mightier than the breakers on the shore -- the LORD above is mightier than these!" --Psalm 93:4.

I suppose the way to sum up what I am trying to say is this: God is teaching me to be okay with not knowing what the next step is. He is giving me peace with only being able to see the step I am on until He shines His sovereignty flashlight on the next step on the staircase. If we try to take control and shine our little nightlights farther down the path, it will come to no avail because we will be just as uncertain and blind to the future as we were before. His light is so much more than we can comprehend...we just have to go along with what He tells us to do, because His gazillion-watt bulb shines plenty bright enough.

I think I'm on the brink of something large
Maybe like the breaking of a dawn
Or maybe like a match being lit
Or the sinking of a ship, letting go gives a better grip

I'm finding everything I'll ever need
By giving up, gaining everything
Falling for You for eternity
Right here at Your feet, where I want to be
I am Yours

Whenever I think of the radiance of God and the immaculate light that exudes from Him, I am reminded of Exodus 34:29-30, when Moses comes down from Mount Sinai and he doesn't realize that his face is glowing...He has to put a veil over his face so that he can even be around other people. That's how indescribable the light of God is...that's what we have to look forward to when we can finally see Christ as He really is. Wow.