So...Motherhood.

A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps. (Proverbs 16:9 NKJV)

This verse is the story of my life. If I could, I would add a sentence at the end that says "And The Lord is always faithful and sovereign." 

When I was in middle school, I started planning out my life. In my finite wisdom, I determined that it would be best for me to graduate high school, finish college early, and somehow work my way into being the Press Secretary for the President, or at least start my own events business. And maybe along the way, I would catch some guy's eye and I would be married by the time I was 30, but that was a secondary goal to my career aspirations. Maybe my 12 year old self was a victim of the American Dream mentality that many live and die by. 

Let me just tell you...the American Dream has nothing on the plans that God has for each and every one of us. The alterations to "my plan" that The Lord directed were not drastic from the outside, but they were like an avalanche on the inside. I had such a hard time believing that The Lord would really want me to stay in school longer than I had to, get married 3 weeks after graduation, move back to the place I never thought I would live again, buy a house, and prepare to raise a family...all in the time that I had set aside for myself to be a success in the eyes of the world, to make a name for myself, unattached. This might seem like the perfect scenario to most people, and I couldn't be more thankful for these undeserved blessings. But all of these changes and shifts in my thinking have taken me on quite the excursion of soul-searching and readjustment. I have had to continually learn to surrender what I think would be best, in exchange for the Lord's sovereign will. 

I've been learning how to apply this surrender to the lives of the people that I pray for as well, because I can often think of multiple ways that certain situations could be changed for (what appears to be) the better. But I can only see the Lord's current brushstroke of the painting will someday be a completed masterpiece. 

I do not yet have this perspective, but I can imagine that this complete surrender will be a minute-by-minute occurrence come September. When we finally get to meet and take care of our little guy, I know that we will have ideas and dreams for what we want for his immediate and far-off future. And when he encounters failures, disappointments, bumps, and bruises, all we will be able to do is remind him of God's sovereignty and faithfulness, of the unfathomable depths of His love for us, of the masterpiece that He is creating through every circumstance. We will pray for him, as we already are, and tell him of the Kingdom that is to come...and how glad we are to be able to embark on this adventure of spending our lives seeking Christ with him.